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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?